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i love disneyland. it really is the happiest place on earth, in my head. it always has been. i almost feel more comfortable at disneyland than i do at home. i’ve been raised at disneyland and have spent some of the best days of my life within its gates. however, there are various times during the day when i am irritated beyond belief by the rudeness and lack of common courtesy that some people have. you’d think some of this stuff would really be common sense but, unfortunately in this instance, there is a such a huge variation of cultures and languages at disneyland that it’s virtually impossible to get along perfectly with the thousands of guests around you. but i thought i’d compile this list just for my own satisfaction. enjoy!

1. control your children. PLEASE.
i know that disneyland is going to always have kids, obviously. and normally i’m totally cool with kids…when they’re behaving. i know that tantrums are virtually unavoidable especially when you’ve been out all day at a theme park and kids get cranky and tired. but, please, for the love of god: parent them. when they’re having a meltdown, take them to the side of the walkway…don’t discipline them in the middle of main street. don’t let them wander off or throw things at other people. don’t let them stand so close to my butt when i’m standing in line. i don’t like feeling a random kid’s face right by my hip. it’s uncomfortable and it’s kind of a safety issue. ALSO AS IMPORTANT: don’t push your G.D. stroller into my heels. thank you.

2. i can’t stress this enough…DO NOT STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF FOOT TRAFFIC.
i get it if you dropped something and you need to bend over to pick it up. i can brush that off after clenching my fists for a couple seconds. but when you are walking at a normal pace and then all of the sudden you stop to point at the sky (and it’s not a UFO or terrorist..), we’re going to have problems. pull off to the side if you want to stop and have a chit chat with your buddies or read a text message or get something out of your stroller. the middle of walkways are reserved for those who are trying to get to their destination TODAY. if it takes 20 minutes to get from indiana jones to the haunted mansion, i’m gonna be pissed and i’ll probably swear a little.

3. realize that you’re not the center of the universe.
i had an issue in the bathroom this past trip to disneyland. no, you sicko, not that kind of issue. i went to wash my hands after using the restroom and each sink was occupied. whatever, i can wait, no big deal. it’s disneyland and there will be lines everywhere. however, when you are done washing your hands, MOVE OVER AND LET THE PEOPLE WAITING HAVE THEIR TURN. the sinks are not a place to discuss last night’s “jersey shore” episode, especially when i could have a colony of bacteria on my hands that is reproducing like rabbits in the spring.

4. this is a family establishment; don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want your grandmother to see/hear.
this includes (but is not limited to): making out, cursing, wearing inappropriate clothing, et al. we get it, you love your boyfriend/girlfriend. we don’t need to see you physically expressing that all over the parks. hey, if you wanna get it on in the haunted mansion doom-buggies, by all means go ahead. but when i’m standing in line, i don’t need to see you guys feeling each other up. cursing…i mean, there’s kids everywhere. not to mention adults. i, personally, fear my normally sometimes filthy mouth most around adults. kids won’t know what it all means but the parents will and they will not be pleased with your lexicon. keep it clean, at least until around 10 pm when the little kids start turning in for the night. as for clothing, come on. it’s disneyland, not a beauty pageant. you don’t need to stick your hooters out into space and i for sure do not need to see your derrière.

5. smile and be pleasant.
okay, i’ve broken this one so many times. i can definitely have meltdowns at disneyland. sometimes it’s hot, i get irritated by rude people, and it’s just not a fun experience. but, no matter how bad a day you are having, don’t make someone else’s day bad too. SMILE at the lovely cast members who are trying to make your day special. they go through a lot. appreciate their jobs. they have to be pleasant all day. and for those grumpy CMs who wander around at times, put aside your personal issues for a second and think about who you’re talking to. you could be making a family from wisconsin very upset but not being chipper. and if you can’t be pleasant, you should probably quit because that’s just not cool. and, please, be nice to the rest of the people in the park with you. if you see someone who might need help, offer some. if someone does something kind for you, say thank you. don’t forget your manners; everyone else is trying to have a good day, too.

those are the major points i wanted to address. if you go to disneyland in the near future, please keep these in mind and don’t ruin the magic for yourself or others!

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