can the holidays please hurry up and arrive already?! i’ve been lighting my winter wonderland candle, listening to a christmas pandora station, and the dropping temperature (high 60s and low 70s is “dropping” for us californians, okay) is making me consume coffee like a high school teacher.
boy, is there a lot to update on. i started seeing a psychologist at the end of september and have been put on a 50mg dose of zoloft. i will be finishing my first bottle in the next two days and i have seen an incredible improvement in my mood. i feel much more stable and less volatile. i don’t get irritated so quickly, i don’t break down in hysterics when i’m stressed out, and i am slowly becoming a more outspoken person. i’m not crazy outgoing or talkative or anything but i can tell that i’m speaking up in class more and spending more time with my friends.
i went to my school’s homecoming football game and homecoming dance (which is HUGE for me – my first dance in two years). i know that it’s going to take time to get used to being out in public and socializing but it bothers me that i didn’t have that much fun at homecoming. everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives dancing the night away and going on carnival rides and taking pictures with their friends but something seemed to be missing for me. i can’t loosen up and that bothers me when it seems that everyone else can. i know it’s a big step for me to have even gone so i’m at least proud of myself for going that far. baby steps, paige, baby steps.
october has been filled with so many new experiences so far. the football game, the dance, being school spirited, finishing school at 12:30 every day, and college applications. it’s crazy how fast the time has gone by. college. wow. i still can’t believe i’m a senior and am sending in my applications in the next couple of weeks. it seems like just yesterday i was building gingerbread houses in second grade and learning my times tables. now, i’m building biology lab setups and going through my second year of calculus. we just got the forms for our senior quotes today. i decided that my quote would be disney-related because of how happy it has made me throughout the years. i quickly chose “to infinity and beyond” to be the quote displayed underneath my picture in the yearbook. i feel like it suits me, too – the sky is the limit and nobody can tell me otherwise.
i’m applying to 7 colleges, 6 being in california.
1. stanford university; palo alto, ca
2. uc berkeley; berkeley, ca
3. uc san diego; la jolla, ca
4. university of san diego; san diego, ca
5. cal poly san luis obispo; san luis obispo, ca
6. uc santa cruz; santa cruz, ca
7. university of washington; seattle, wa
college will be good for me. i’m ready for it. i’m ready to grow some cajones and get out there on my own. i’ve always been rather independent and disciplined so i don’t think that i’ll have difficulty with that. the thing i’ll have problems with is forming relationships with people and the more social aspect of college. public schools will help with that because of their size. however, private schools are more likely to give me scholarship money which will help immensely considering i plan on going to graduate school. my first app is due next tuesday (november 1) to my first choice school, stanford. since i’m applying early, i will find out my admission status on or around december 15th, which is crazy! either i’ll have the best christmas of my entire life or i’ll be totally crushed and depressed over the holidays. GREAT.
wish me luck on my applications!
well done Paige, glad you’re starting to feel better
good luck with the applications x