new hair, new day, new me

today was haircut day! i decided to get a cut inspired by chelsea kane (aka chelsea staub) from JONAS and dancing with the stars. it’s a little longer than her hair (she had a cut similar to this but then chopped it to more of a victoria beckham style). for me, typically, it takes me a few days to get used to a haircut no matter how much i like it. it takes me a few days to work out how to style it, how far over to part my hair, how to fix the layering, etc. – but for the most part, i like my new hair and so does the rest of my family. success!

…i still haven’t run yet. i am so awful at this! i literally cannot find a comfortable position to sleep in at night so i toss and turn until 1 AM and then i’m too exhausted to get up at 8 AM, so then i get up at 11:30 at which time it is much too hot to run around outside. so tonight, i think i’m going to get into bed at 10-ish and i’ll read a little to get me sleepy enough to ignore discomfort.

and even if i don’t end up running tomorrow, i’ll whip out my yoga mat and do a little pilates. i have to start doing something. i can’t just sit here sedentary and expect my self-confidence and self-image to change. i feel like a new haircut always makes me feel more motivated to be a new person…to kick bad habits (SODA) and become a better person for myself. hopefully i can run AND do some pilates tomorrow.

baby steps, paige, baby steps…

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here we go (yet) again

so i didn’t run yesterday morning or this morning. i ended up sleeping in both mornings until 11:21 AM when i really wanted to get up at 7 AM to run. i WILL be doing it tomorrow though. i’m going to get my butt in bed early tonight, drink a little tea to make me sleepy so i am not so drained tomorrow morning and i’ll be able to actually get up.

i’m reading “the grapes of wrath” by john steinbeck, at the moment, and it’s quite good. i’m only three chapters into it but it’s not awful. i don’t know if i look forward to reading it every day just because i can say i read it or if it is the writing that’s making me come back to it. i don’t know.  either way, i’m going to keep on reading and post my thoughts, if i ever have any.

does anyone have any tips on keeping motivated in starting something new? i.e. running, finishing a book, etc.

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finally, the end is here!

today was my last day of school! thank god. i don’t know if i could handle any more of junior year. this school year has been the absolute WORST year of my entire life. i dealt with so much crap mentally and emotionally, i just don’t even want to think about it anymore. it’s been such a roller coaster, with not many highs, but i made it through and that’s all that matters.

after school, because i’m a friendless loser, i went to the library and checked out “grapes of wrath” and “cannery row” by john steinbeck, as well as “the fall” by albert camus. i will be starting “grapes of wrath” tonight before bed. i don’t really think i’m doing anything tomorrow –  i don’t think i’m going running. i want to  use this summer to get into running. there are times where i totally want to do it and others where i can’t even believe i would even think about running. but i’m just going to start off slow and get myself going every morning. i feel like during february-march of this year, when i was going to the gym for an hour every day and burning over 400 calories a day, my skin was the clearest and other than feeling like crap for other reasons, i felt decent.

i doubt i’ll be going to the beach or pool anytime soon. i still have some insecurity stuff to get over. i don’t think it’ll happen this summer but one day i’ll be comfortable with myself and my body and i won’t want to avoid bathing suits and outside at all. “well, paige, you could just go to the beach with your friends and not wear a bathing suit…just go to have fun!” um, no. my friends will want to know why i’m wrapped up in a towel or why i won’t take my clothes off. i don’t feel like explaining it to them so i’d rather just avoid it all together. it doesn’t bother me, really.

who knows what summer will bring? i sure don’t. maybe i’ll break out and find new experiences. maybe i’ll be fun and do the unexpected. oh, who am i kidding.

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banana bread french toast

BANANA BREAD
prep: 15 minutes, cook: 55 minutes
makes 1 loaf, about 10 1/2 inch slices

4-5 small/medium ripe bananas
2 2/3  cups Bisquick
2/3 cup brown sugar
3 eggs
1/4 cup milk
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. preheat oven to 350 degrees (F); spray loaf pan with cooking spray.
2. mash bananas in a large bowl; add sugar, eggs, mlk, oil, and vanilla; mix.
3. mix in Bisquick; if using an electric mixer, be careful not to over mix…this makes the bread denser and less fluffy
4. pour batter into the loaf pan and bake for 55 minutes or until knife inserted into center comes out clean.
5. let bread cool COMPLETELY (i would make this the day before you make the french toast)

FRENCH TOAST
prep: 10 minutes, cook: 20 minutes
about 10 slices (these are pretty thick and filling – i can only eat about one of them!)

1 loaf banana bread
3 eggs
1/2 cup milk (i just halved a 1 egg to 1/3 cup milk ratio)
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
butter
powdered sugar or syrup

1. slice the banana bread into 1/2 inch slices.
2. in a bowl whisk eggs, milk, vanilla, and cinnamon.
3. heat a skillet and melt butter on the skillet.
4. lay the slice of bread into the egg mixture and quickly flip to coat the other side (DO NOT LET IT SIT THERE FOR TOO LONG OR THE BREAD WILL GET SOGGY); lay the bread onto the skillet.
5. cook until brown on one side and flip; cook this side until brown, as well.
6. serve with powdered sugar, syrup, or any other toppings you would like!

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caramel macchiatos & so it goes

i’m running off of pure caffeine right now. i probably shouldn’t have gotten coffee this morning. coffee tends to make my head, stomach, and entire body hurt and can leave me feeling sick for days. this is particularly unfortunate seeing as in a year, i will be leaving the nest and venturing off to some university, yet to be decided; and i’m going to need coffee to function. i figure if i just get my body used to it now and expose it to coffee as often as possible, i won’t go into panic mode when i am sucking down triples twice a day.

so it’s father’s day today. my assigned gift to my stepdad (will be referenced as “steppappy” from here on out, okay?) is to make the family breakfast this morning. last week i made banana bread and he ate some and was bonkers for it (and he hates banana bread). i had mentioned something along the lines of, “oh, you know what would be yummy? french toast made with banana bread.” and so he has taken it upon himself to tell me that’s what i’m going to be doing this morning. i’m going to need some luck with this one. and i’m getting hungry, so the rest of the house better wake up soon. is this how the rest of my family normally feels when they’re waiting for me to wake up around noon? then again, they don’t wait for me to get up to make breakfast. i should’ve just made breakfast when i was up and ready for the day at 8 o’clock this morning, and i should’ve just eaten all of it. woe is me.

i will be spending the rest of today cleaning the kitchen, studying for the last of my finals tomorrow, and hanging out with my oma. it should be an interesting start to the first week of summer – junior year (a.k.a. the worst year of my entire life) is finally almost over.

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